Financial independence in Switzerland: the Rubicon crossed (in my head)

It’s already been two weeks since I handed in my resignation letter. And I feel a strong need to talk about it on the blog. On one hand, to make sense of what’s going on. And on the other hand, to document what it looks like when you become FI “in real life” (reminder for the newcomers: FI = “Financially Independent”).

Especially now that I’ve crossed the Rubicon (in my head, at least).

And I can tell you one thing: I can’t wait to cross it “physically”!

Journaling, introspection, and one word: the Rubicon

For many months now, I’ve been in the habit of doing 5-10 minutes of journaling a day, then analyzing it briefly in “take a step back” mode, looking at the events of my life. Always with the same goal, living as intentionally as possible.

And I’ll admit that sometimes, these sessions last longer and turn into a “rabbit hole” when I start Googling (or should I say Claude-ing/Gemini-ing/ChatGPT-ing haha!) some of my questions about what’s happening to me (in “dialogue” mode, mind you, not “two-bit AI shrink (the token!)”).

And in this transition period toward financial independence, I have plenty of psychological stuff to chew on…

Long story short, somewhere along my wanderings to understand myself better, I came across the concept of the “Rubicon”.

When I read that on Gemini (or Claude, whatever, I have too many virtual friends I think hehe), the first image that popped into my head was… a red Jeep…

The first image that came to mind when I read the word Rubicon, and I wasn't that far off in the end (photo credit: autoweek.com)

A bit puzzled, I wondered whether it was an analogy for me, like a Jeep going off the beaten track, about to move from the road to the rocky trails…

I wasn’t that far off haha…

What is the Rubicon?

The Rubicon is, first of all, a river. And the story that made it famous takes us back to 49 BC.

All Gaul is occupied by the Romans… All? No! One small village of indomitable Gauls… nah, just kidding :D

Anyway, the Rubicon is a river, and the story goes that “crossing the Rubicon” is THE irreversible act. Because back then, Julius Caesar had gotten cocky after his successful conquest of Gaul.

So, in “his” territory, where he was the general (around Ravenna in northern Italy), he did as he pleased, and so far so good.

But if he crossed the Rubicon and headed toward Rimini, he would be declaring war on the Senate of Rome (and on Pompey)… which is what he did, trying to become the all-powerful master of the Roman Republic, hence an irreparable act, civil war and the whole mess, right up to the end of the Republic.

The small river between Ravenna and Rimini that Caesar crossed in 49 BC, and that I'm crossing in turn (in my head)

So much for the history lesson (you’re welcome :D).

And my fears about becoming FI and leaving my job, well, it’s the same thing, it’s “crossing the Rubicon”, because there’s something irreversible about it. Something that can’t be undone, because it’s been made official.

And in armchair psychology, before the crossing, you ask yourself a thousand questions and imagine every possible scenario (like I explained in my previous journal entry).

On the other hand, once you’ve crossed, it’s a relief, because you did it. There are no more hypotheses, you’re in action mode.

The most painful part of it all is the period of reflection (and hesitation!) beforehand, with all the doubts.

My first Rubicon: clicking “Send”

The keyword crystallized the moment I clicked “Send” on my email with my resignation letter attached.

Psychologically, that’s where I felt the point of no return. Saying it was one thing, sending it in writing set it in stone…

I was making it official that I only had 3 months of salaried life left.

And then? Well, the FI life. With all its unknowns…

Well, I say 3 months, but as I write these lines, I only have two and a half months left already…

But while continuing my journal a few days ago, I wrote down:

Actually, my real “Rubicon” will be when I cross the road to the bus stop. That’s my own “Rubicon” river… Patience… argh, it’s too hard and too long now!

If you’re new to the blog, here’s the link that describes what I mean by “my bus stop”.

And these last few days, it’s this feeling of impatience that’s slightly (okay, massively!) taking over, mixed with frustration about the situations where I’m not yet independent…

On the other side of the river in my head, not yet with my feet

It’s a strange period, this resignation phase, because in my head, I feel like I’m already free from salaried work, and ready to embrace my FI life!

The famous Rubicon today, no more impressive than a countryside canal... But never mind, in my head, I'm already on the other bank (photo credit: Google Maps)

Except that the other morning, a really painful project with dependencies on all sides reminded me that no, I wasn’t (financially) independent yet, and that I still had to wait for other people.

So yes, I know very well that not everything will be rosy once I’m FI, and that I’ll still have other dependencies. But at least the big chunk related to the job, that one, will be gone. And when I look back at the evenings I spent ruminating these past years, a good 80% of them were job-related.

So… I can’t wait, really!

Can’t wait to be able to tell myself that all those people I’m waiting for on project X, well, that’s all over.

Can’t wait to be able to wake up at 9am if I feel like it, or write for the blog at 3pm on a Sunday afternoon, and go for a little morning hike the following Monday.

Can’t wait to be 100% intentional and aligned with the dependencies I create for myself. And if I have to stress out on a Monday morning, it’ll be by choice (for example, if a FI Planner user tells us about a new feature they’re missing).

But it’s also a mix of emotions depending on how people react…

“I really want you to stay, can we talk about it?”

That’s the sentence I wasn’t really expecting… And it does make you think, because it tugs at your heartstrings… well, at your ego rather, I should say…

Then, it made me question things for 12 seconds, and I went back to my “why”, to my FI life path, and I answered…

Yes, but no…

And then, between this mix of impatience and ego-tickling, there’s still that blissful smile that came back…

The blissful smile (there it is again!)

Definition: bliss is a state of perfect happiness, supreme joy and total serenity.

As usual, we had our monthly all-hands “info session” last week, everyone in the same room, which included the announcement of my departure on the agenda.

First, it felt weird, because it made the whole thing even more concrete. Or how to feel firmly on the other side of the Rubicon in your head, while both feet haven’t moved an inch.

But what I remember most is that big smile on my face on my way to work the next morning. Since everyone knew, I had the impression that people on the train were looking at me differently. It’s hard to explain, but it was as if the whole planet knew, because it was visible and concrete.

And that, that puts a grin on your face, as if it legitimized my FI path.

But as I write this, I realize that I feel it mostly thanks to external elements, and very little internally…

For example, I no longer felt the need to go scream my joy in the forest, because once the announcement was made, the routine quickly took over again. And the only moments when I felt the Rubicon crossing getting closer were when a colleague told me:

Oh no, you’re leaving soon, so you can’t take on this project for March…

“Good things come to those who wait,” as they say ;) In the meantime, it gives me things to tell you about the psychology of the FIRE movement!

The fears that come back at bedtime

I also noticed that the fears often came back in the evening these last few days, when your brain has more space and time to digest what’s happening in your life.

And even though we’re FI and that’s what the numbers tell me in YNAB and also in FI Planner, the fears always come back with new ideas…

‘Die with zero’, but that means you have no margin at all, MP? And imagine if in early February war XYZ takes over that part of the world, and the stock market drops 40% because there’s no AI running anymore?!?

So I used a journaling session to list my “calming staircase” again:

1. We could sell one of our rental properties to generate liquidity
2. In principle, I plan to have fun with various side business ideas (like FI Planner, for example) because it’s fun, and if the stock market isn’t at its best, I can always spend more time on them to generate cash flow
3. We can cut back on our lifestyle, if needed
4. And, worst case scenario, well, the job market still exists, and even if it would be a blow to my ego, it remains a perfectly OK option

And there you go, “a fear named (with its mitigation plan laid out) is a fear gone”.

The countdown, and savoring every day

Rather than champing at the bit waiting for time to pass, I decided at the beginning of the week to install a “Countdown” widget app on the home screen of my phone.

But I see this counter from two different angles:

1. It lets me become aware of, and (literally) visualize, the fact that I’m going to be FI in a few weeks (“Oh. My. God!” as Janice would say)
2. And it also reminds me that time flies, and that I need to savor every last moment, every last team project wrap-up, because they’re all “last times”

My countdown on my phone's home screen, which I look at a bit too often

Looking at my calendar as I write these lines, I see that the Christmas holidays are approaching fast… and that once that milestone is behind us, well, there will only be… 3 weeks left!!

So there you have it, I can’t wait, and at the same time, I’m filled with gratitude toward myself for having chosen this path more than thirteen years ago.

And I’m also very grateful to Mrs. MP, who followed me on this crazy life project idea.

Visualizing the bus stop (my “real” Rubicon)

Every morning, I visualize more and more that moment when I’ll be at the bus stop with the other people heading off to work.

And I picture the scene: the bus appears in the distance in the January darkness… People hurry to get on board and warm up, while I signal to the driver that I’m not getting on, pretending to wait for someone who’s picking me up by car.

And then I watch the bus leave for the city. I wait until I can’t see it anymore, and then I cross the road. My bag slung over my shoulder, I head off toward the forest down below for a morning walk, in my work clothes. Because… I’m FI.

The forest below my bus stop, the one where I'll (maybe) scream my joy in January (photo credit: Atelier Picsel.ch)

I can’t wait! (yes, I know, I’m repeating myself :D)

Conclusion: becoming FI is won in your head

It makes me really happy to be able to show you that “yes, it’s possible to become financially independent in Switzerland”. I still remember that grumpy former colleague who told me: “Yeah yeah, your FIRE thing is an idealist’s idea. I tried when I was your age, I didn’t even last 3 months on a budget. Forget it and find yourself another idea to get rich!”

Blah blah blah!

In any case, and I knew it, but living it is something else: becoming FI is psychologically far more complex than keeping a good old budget. Between the doubts, the excitement, the impatience, the human relationships, that’s a lot to handle and digest.

If I had to sum up what I take away from these first two weeks:

1. The Rubicon is crossed in your head first. The relief comes the moment you click “Send”, not on your last day of work
2. The months that follow are a mix of impatience, tickled ego, and fears that come back at bedtime. Naming them, and walking down my calming staircase, is enough to bring them back down
3. Patience, like in the stock market. The 3 months’ notice will run their course, and in the meantime, every day is a last day to savor

And you, if you’re already FI, how did you live through your last 3 months of work? And if you’re not there yet, what’s your own Rubicon?

PS: if you’re just joining the journey, I recommend reading my previous journal entries: Financial independence in Switzerland: the final stretch (90%) and Financial independence in Switzerland: 100%, and 3 months’ notice

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